This Was Your Life: The Faith Healer

Note: There is a transcript of this comic at the bottom of the page.

Faith Healer

If you liked or hated this comic, you’ll probably feel the same way about these:

Transcript

Loki and his friend stand in front of an opening in an endless, waist-high, white picket fence on an endless cloud. There is a hole in the fence near them for people to walk through. Loki and his friend are wearing blue jump suits and green hats. Loki has a long white beard.

Loki: So then I said to Jormungandr, “That’s what your mom said.”

Stranger: Hahahaah

A man in an orange work vest approaches the hole in the gate.

Faith Healer: Take me into the light, great spirit.

Loki: What the deuce?

Stranger: Hey, who goes there?

Faith Healer: Where am I? Are you my spirit guides?

Loki: We’ll ask the questions here. Who the hell are you, and what are you doing here?

Faith Healer: My name is Moon Child, and I passed here from the other side. I’m looking for the spirit who will guide me to the next plane of existence.

Loki: Well, we guard the pearly gates that lead to the afterlife.

Faith Healer: Uh, so where are the pearly gates?

Loki: You’re looking at them.

Stranger: Yeah, after people stopped worshiping ocean gods, the pearl started confusing people. So…

Loki: Periodically we update the gates to fit with the times.

Faith Healer: Oh, okay. Well, can I come in?

Loki: The problem with that is, you’re not even supposed to be here. So we need to figure out what happened to you first.

Stranger: How did you die?

Faith Healer: Oh, I died of an easily treatable pancreatic tumor.

Loki: Ah, that’s the source of confusion. You weren’t supposed to die for another 37 years.

Stranger: How you died is insignificant, but we need to understand why you died before we can decide where to send you.

Faith Healer: Surprisingly, none of the treatments I used cured my disease. So I just dropped dead at work.

Loki: Hmmm. That’s odd. What treatments were you using?

Faith Healer: I tried everything from homeopathy to reflexology, accupressure, reiki, shiatsu, crystal therapy, craniosacral therapy, magnetic bracelets, laying of hands, oiji boards, faith healing… the list goes on.

Loki: Well no wonder you died. All of those treatments you just mentioned are completely useless outside of the placebo effect.

Faith Healer: What!? You guys are so close minded. How dare you diss pseudo-scientific medical treatments. They absolutely work, and that’s a fact.

Stranger: Oh? If those treatments are so factually accurate, then why doesn’t the mainstream scientific community embrace them?

Faith Healer: Because the scientific community is a bunch of close-minded A-holes who are involved in a conspiracy to reject alternative medicine so they can sell more expensive drugs that don’t do anything but hurt you worse.

Loki: Oh my God! This is huge news! This changes everything!

Stranger: Quick, give us the reproducible, double-blind, peer-reviewed experiments you’re basing your conclusions on so we can show them to everyone and set the world straight.

Faith Healer: Okay. There a ton of famous gurus who agree that all of this is true, and people have been using these methods for thousands of years. So they must be true.

Stranger: I must not have made myself clear. I wasn’t asking for logical fallacies. I was asking for reliable evidence.

Faith Healer: Like I was saying, there’s tons of evidence out there that backs up the effectiveness of non-traditional and faith-based healing methods.

Loki: Such as…

Faith Healer: There’s all these books that state my preconceived conclusions as fact, and there’s people all over the world who believe in it too. So you’d be stupid to doubt it.

Loki: *sigh*

Faith Healer: Just look at all the emotionally inciting case studies alone. There was that one amputee who grew their arm back after praying to God. I heard of another lady who was cured of crippling back pains after a charismatic millionaire preacher laid hands on her. So what do you have to say about that?

Loki: The amputee thing never happened… ever.

Stranger: And the person with lower back pain was already seeing a doctor. More importantly though, she changed her lifestyle after being told she’d burn in hell if she didn’t. She just allowed her body to heal itself.

Faith Healer: You guys sound like a couple of arrogant, meat-eating atheists. You’re all, “Oooh, I want fact-based evidence. Ooooh.”

Stranger: Hold on. Now I’m really confused.

Loki: Yeah, you’re kind of acting like you don’t believe in science, which is weird.

Stranger: Because you totally do believe in science.

Loki: You believe the earth rotates around the sun. You believe in atoms. You believe in the technology that runs the internet, and you believe in the science behind poison labels.

Stranger: But when it comes to medicine and spirituality you just don’t seem to give a crap about scientific rigor.

Faith Healer: Excuse me, Judgey Micjudgerton, but what does science have to do with the afterlife?

Stranger: A lot, actually.

Loki: You see, when you’re alive your brain grows, and your personality grows with it. When you die, your personality is set for all eternity.

Stranger:If you strive to be a mature, intelligent, sane person then that’s how you get to spend eternity.

Loki: But if you never push yourself you end up spending your whole life and all eternity as an impetuous, irrational child.

Stranger: Sort of like Edward and Bella from the “Twilight” series.

Loki: Science itself is just knowledge of your environment, but scientific thinking is sane thinking.

Stranger: Which means you’re basically bat shit crazy, and now you always will be.

Loki: Not only that, but you’re also going to spend eternity with other people of the same mental caliber as you.

Stranger: Paradise and Utopia are defined by the quality of people you find there, and your ignorance would degrade the sane people’s experience.

Loki: So we’re going to have to ostracize you with the rest of your kind.

Faith Healer: Whatever. I’ve always said I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. I’d much rather spend my time with people like me instead of a bunch of stuffy elitists.

Loki: You say that because you have no frame of reference to understand what it’s like to be sane and complete. I assure you, you’re missing out bigger than you’ll ever know.

Faith Healer: Now hold it right there, mister…

Loki: Silence mortal. We’ve heard enough. Judgement has been passed.

Stranger: We will now summon your spirit guide, which will escort you to the realm of kidults. AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE!

A gremlin appears in a fiery explosion.

Gremlin: Why did you jerks call me? I’m on vacation with my family in Aruba.

Stranger: Your client showed up 37 years early.

Gremlin: Typical. Well, buddy, I’m taking you on what I like to call, “the scenic route” to the afterlife. Let’s go.

The gremlin leaves with the man.

Stranger: What a waste of potential.

Loki: Such a shame.

Stranger: So, do you know what “the scenic route” is?

Loki: That’s where you get to see what your life would have been like if you had applied yourself.

Stranger: Ouch. That’s gonna hurt.

The End.

It’s okay to be lost

not all who wander are lost

There are religions which teach that you were born lost, impure, unworthy, unchosen and in need of salvation. The cure to your fatal disease is to accept and follow the set of beliefs and behaviors outlined in whichever book informed you of your inadequacy. In return for your loyalty, you’re promised that after you die you’ll be spared from a torturous eternal fate you supposedly deserve and get to spend eternity in a vaguely defined paradise.

If you accept this explanation of life, then the path before you will be simple. You just have to keep believing in what you were told and keep following the rules. You can pretty much just relax and wind down the clock on autopilot, and you’ll never have to worry about figuring out the answers to any of life’s big questions yourself. This makes religion sound appealing, but the benefits don’t actually outweigh the cost, because all of the religions humans have invented are simply human inventions. They’re all mythology.

Facing the fact that religion is mythology is terrifying for believers for several profound reasons. First, it means you’ve been lied to and used by the person you thought was your savior, which is too emotionally traumatic for many believers to even consider. Worse than that though, when you lose your religion, you lose your purpose in life and your moral compass. Life is existentially depressing and hopeless if you’re not living with purpose, and it’s confusing if you don’t have a compass. Since you still need answers to life’s questions, if you don’t have a religious book to look them up in, that means you’re responsible for figuring them all out for yourself.

We all know we’re not prophets or Einsteins. We know we don’t have the intelligence or authority to figure out the ultimate meaning of life. This means after you figure out that religion is wrong, you can’t just trade in all your wrong answers for all the right answers. You just lose you’re moral compass and spend the rest of your life lost.

A lot of theists would rather live a comfortable lie than face a lifetime of being lost, not just because it’s scary, but because they view being lost as a sign of weakness, a character flaw that needs to be stamped out. The cold, hard reality of the world we live in, is that we’re born lost, and we’re destined to wander the universe lost until we die. We’ll all face death not knowing what happens afterwards or if our actions mattered. Once you accept that, you can cope with the situation sanely. But denying the reality of the situation only cripples your ability to cope with it, and that’s the definition of insanity. These blogs explain the fantasy-based nature of Christianity in more detail:

Believing in mythology is like trying to hike across America using a maritime chart of the Indian Ocean for directions. Plus, you’re stuck with a traveling companion who forces you to act the way Indian fishermen acted 2000 years ago, and he constantly tells you you’re not good enough. Accepting that you’re lost, and looking at the universe from an honest, scientific perspective, is like hiking around America with a wilderness survival guide, and your traveling companion is Sherlock Holmes.

If you’re losing faith in mythology, and you’re worried about what to do with your life after you throw away your map of the Indian Ocean, just climb to the top of a mountain, and look down at the forests and fields below you. Not one single tree, flower, or blade of grass is stressing about what to do with their life. They’re just drinking in the universe and reaching for the skies. If you were to look at yourself, standing on top of a mountain, eye-level with the clouds, you’d realize you’re already doing the exact same thing, and it’ll make you feel so alive, that the last thing on your mind will be death.

Of course, everyone can’t spend their whole life meditating on a mountaintop, but why would you want to when there are so many other experiences to be had, problems to be solved and wonderful people to be met? Frankly, you were going to spend your whole life chasing experiences anyway, whether you claim to believe in religion or not. You can just do it more effectively when you’re not blinded, gagged and crippled by fictional, mythological beliefs.

You can look at the mystery of life as an eternal curse, or you can look at it as an endless opportunity. The universe might not look as scary if you focused on how amazing it is. Maybe we’re not even really lost. Maybe we’re already home, or maybe this is what it’s like to leave the nest. Maybe what we’re supposed to be doing is using the tools we were given to fulfill our potential and not just sit around on our knees talking to ourselves and beating ourselves up for failing to live up to the moral standards of primitive cultures.

If you want to know more about living well without mythology, you may find these posts useful:

Reasons to be kind outside of religion

A cosmic appreciation for life

Think about this. Everything that exists in the universe is made of atoms, which are made of energy vibrations, which have been rearranging themselves according to brilliant mathematical equations for about 14 billion years. This energy is inanimate, and yet it possesses the instructions and power to assemble itself into living, breathing, reproducing, feeling, supercomputers that are supported by a growing, healing frame that’s wrapped in layers of pulleys and levers that work in tandem to create an acrobatic range of motion. Human beings are cosmic mysteries, 14 billion years in the making.

Reality is amazing. If you’re not impressed by life or the universe then you’re not paying attention. To anyone who is paying attention, it’s blatantly obvious that life is infinitely valuable. You don’t need a prophet to tell you that it’s wrong to hurt or kill people. You just need to open your eyes and appreciate life.

We’re all we’ve got.

Healthy babies will die in their cribs if they’re never touched. Solitary confinement is considered cruel and unusual punishment even for violent criminals.Nobody wants to spend the rest of their life alone, and everyone’s best memories are of times they spent with the people they loved. We need each other to survive, and we’re all we’ve got.

Sam Harris may have said it best when he said, “Consider it: every person you have ever met, every person will suffer the loss of his friends and family. All are going to lose everything they love in this world. Why would one want to be anything but kind to them in the meantime?”

If you’re looking for a reason to care about people, just go look someone in the eyes, and watch them looking back at you, affirming your existence. If you ever get lonely, you can go talk to that person, and they’ll share a whole universe of ideas and stories with you. They’ll make you laugh, cry, shout, relax, orgasm and all around live. They’re a reflection of yourself and a portal to another world. As cruel as people can be, we all know from personal experience that people are worth living for and protecting.

The war debt

Countless soldiers have died horrific, selfless deaths protecting your ancestors. Countless civilians have dedicated their entire lives to studying the universe, solving problems and improving the world those soldiers died protecting. Everyone who has ever held a job is a cog in the machine that turned the savage wilderness into cities with electricity and plumbing. Granted, there have been a lot of horrible, selfish people who left the world a worse place than they found it, but that just means we owe even more of a debt of gratitude to the people who carried the slackers’ share of the burden.

Even if our actions don’t have any consequences in the afterlife, it’s still logical to be grateful when someone does something nice for you. We stand on the shoulders of giants, and we owe a lifetime of gratitude to every one of our ancestors who fought, worked and died so we could have a better life than they did. The best way we can show our gratitude to them is to continue their legacy and improve the world for future generations. The very least we can do is not be mean and tear down the world we were given.

Fulfilling humanity’s potential

It’s not a burden of responsibility to strive to make the world better by doing things as small as being kind to strangers or as big as devoting your life to curing cancer. It’s an opportunity to be a part of something amazing and meaningful. Look at how far humans have come in 10,000 years. We went from living in caves to flying to the moon. Humanity’s knowledge and skills have been increasing at an exponential rate, and we’re very close to reaching a tipping point in technology that will revolutionize civilization more than the invention of the steam engine or the internet. That’s worth being a part of just because it’ll be fun, and it’s not like we have anything better to do. Why not play a part in fulfilling humanity’s potential?

Sure, we might not personally reap all the benefits, but at least we can enter eternal sleep with a clear conscience, and we can rest well knowing our descendants will have a better life than we did. And if you’re having trouble finding meaning in life outside of religion, or you’re still a little worried about your actions being judged after death, you can find relief in making the world a better place. If it turns out that life really is meaningless, and nothing matters, at least you’ll have spent your life feeling good about your actions.

A spiritual but not religious apreciation for the divine

Agnostics and people who are “spiritual but not religious” are willing to concede that there may be some force somewhere in the universe that fits some definition of the word, “God.” If there is a God, it would be nice to know it’s true name, but we play the hand we’re dealt, and agnostics are comfortable with appreciating The Artist’s work without knowing The Artist’s name. That simple, general sense of gratitude and respect for a vaguely defined, theoretical God still tends to inspire half-believers to treat God’s creations with respect and reverence.

Many half-believers also speculate that God is everywhere and that humans are a reflection of God. Without outright believing in those two statements, the mere possibility of them being true still motivates some nonreligious people to respect life as much (if not more) than anyone who believes in ancient mythology.

Pascal’s Wager (modified)

Blaise Pascal posed the question (and I’m paraphrasing), “Isn’t it safer to believe in Jesus and be wrong, than to not believe in Jesus and be wrong?” This question is illogical for at least two reasons. First, Christianity is easily falsifiable. It’s blatantly mythology. Being a Christian doesn’t require faith in the absence of evidence. It requires active denial of reality in the face of overwhelming evidence.  Secondly, believing in Christian mythology is no more logical than believing in Buddhist or Hindu mythology. So there’s no advantage to picking Christianity over any other random mythology.

Still, the question raises an interesting point. Anything could have happened before the universe came into existence, and anything could happen after we die. We don’t know for sure that our actions will have any repercussions in the afterlife, but why not play it safe and try to behave while we’re here on Earth, just in case?

Of course, that raises the question, how do you know what’s immoral if you don’t have an instruction book written by a prophet? The answer is to think and talk about ethics using the brain and mouth you were given. There are logic-based moral codes out there that are far more humane and productive than mythology-based moral codes.

Atheists may laugh at agnostics for trying to guess what their vaguely defined, theoretical, laissez faire God wants them to do. I’m not saying atheists are wrong, but they’re faulting people for hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. Hope doesn’t cost anything, but hopelessness can literally kill you. And if fear of the unknown motivates people to do what they were supposed to be doing anyway then… that’s convenient.

Immediate karma and karma ghosts

Our actions may not determine our quality of afterlife, but they do determine the quality of our experiences in the immediate present. If we spend all day being mean to people, we’ll experience an angry, ugly day. If we spend all day being nice to people, we’ll experience a full day of pleasantness. If we’re mean for 20,000 days straight, we’ll have a lifetime of painful memories to look back on. If we’re nice for 20,000 days straight, we’ll have a lovely life to look back on.

There may not be a supernatural incentive program at work that magically causes good deeds to come back to good people and bad deeds to haunt bad people. However, we do live in the world we create. If you piss off everyone in town, you’re going to live in an unfriendly town. If you’re nice to everyone in town, you’ll inspire everyone to be nice to each other, and everyone will keep “paying it forward,” creating a self-perpetuating cycle of kindness. If we keep being nice to each other, eventually we won’t have to lock our doors at night or carry weapons for self-defense. So, without even getting philosophical, kindness is just practical.

Humility

Religions tend to divide mankind into “the chosen” and “the unworthy,” “the good” and “the evil,” “the saved” and “the damned.” Scientific thinkers don’t have any reason to divide humanity into any such categories. From a scientific point of view, everyone comes from the same place. Everyone had their ass wiped when they were children, and everyone’s shit stinks. Everyone’s body breaks down, and in the end we all die. You can’t level up into a more transcendental being. No matter what we do or believe, we’ll always just be walking, talking puddles of dirty water.

At the same time, we’re also cosmic miracles. We’re biological robots with supercomputers in our heads that are smart and strong enough to reshape the universe itself. A lot of care and effort went into designing us. The evidence points to the conclusion that we’re all equally, infinitely valuable…. puddles of dirty water.

As smart and powerful as we are though, we were born existentially blind. We don’t and can’t know the final answers to life’s mysteries. We’re just stranded in this cold, lonely universe to stand or fall on our own. Since we don’t and can’t know what the point of life is, it doesn’t make sense to punish the hell out of people during life or after death for getting the point wrong. We’re all equally beautiful, and we’re also equally big screw ups. At the end of the day, we’re all family too. The only logical conclusion to come to in life is that we should celebrate, forgive and help each other.

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Tips on flirting with men and women

Note: The following two blogs explain how to be a generally attractive person. Once you’ve got that down, you’re ready to start flirting.

Tips on Impressing Men

Tips on Impressing Women

Love yourself.

If you love yourself, you probably won’t be afraid to talk to the opposite sex. You won’t have reason to doubt yourself, and you won’t be offended by rejection. You probably won’t be rejected though, because you’ll be an infectiously enjoyable person. When you finally settle down in a relationship, you’ll probably make a great partner, because you’ll have a lot of patience and be easy to get along with. And you won’t even have to muster up inner strength to behave this way, because it’ll just be how you are.

If you look down on yourself and beat yourself up all the time, you’ve already set yourself up to fail at flirting and being in a relationship. You’re going to give yourself a panic attack just stressing out over talking to the opposite sex in the first place. Your conversations are going to be forced and awkward for everyone involved. If you do ever get in a relationship, you’re not going to make your partner smile, and eventually, your unhappiness will make them feel like a failure. In the end, they’ll probably leave you for someone who lifts them up emotionally instead of dragging them down.

If this describes you, understand that no amount of inner strength is going to help you lift the rock crushing your morale. The problem is that you don’t understand your true worth. Someone convinced you to base your self-worth on shortsighted criteria, and you need to talk to a therapist about realigning your perception of reality. You deserve to be loved, particularly by yourself. If you’re willing to put a lot of work into getting laid or married, then put a lot of work into loving yourself. When you do that, you’ll naturally cultivate most of the character traits that members of the opposite sex find attractive.

Find your target audience, and market yourself to them

Life is short, and you’re not getting any younger. You don’t have time to waste hoping your one true love falls in your lap by chance. Speed up the process by figuring out what kind of a person you’re looking for. Then figure out what kind of places those people go. Then go there.

If you’re already pursuing your passion in life, if you’re already living somewhere you love doing things you love, then you’re already in the perfect place to find someone who shares your values and goals. Just keep doing what you’re doing, and there’s a good chance you actually will run into your soul mate. If you’re not pursuing your passions, then that’s the first reason you haven’t found someone you’re compatible with. You’re in the wrong place.

If you don’t have any passions at all then there’s nothing inside you to be compatible with. In that case, you’ll be most compatible with other people who don’t have any personality, and you might have the best chance of finding someone you click with at Wal~Mart.

If all you want is sex, then go to a night club and buy drinks for the sluttiest dressed person there. Or just skip the game and hire a prostitute. Either way, always use a condom.

There’s absolutely no shame in using Internet dating. It’s a streamlined way to meet people who share your interests, and you can learn as much from reading their profile as you can from dating for six months. Online dating is a powerful, practical solution to a complex problem, and anyone who recognizes that is at least a little intelligent.

Put your best foot forward.

Most people decide whether you’ll ever have a chance of sleeping with them within five seconds of meeting you… before you even say a word. We’re able to make that judgment so quickly because a picture is worth a thousand words, and the way you present yourself is equivalent to giving a silent dissertation about yourself.

This means, if you’re going to stress out over how to get someone to have sex or fall in love with you, then stress out over looking sexy and successful. If you can look sexy and successful, then even if you do screw up your pickup line, it won’t matter because the other person will already be hooked. If you don’t put any effort into your appearance, you may as well stop reading, because the rest of this guide isn’t going to help you. Your target will have already made up their mind about you, and there will be little you can do to redeem yourself.

The first look

Every romantic encounter/relationship must follow this logical progression of events: Look, talk, touch, sex. Everything begins with a look. After all, how can you have sex with someone if you’ve never seen them? So the first thing you have to do in order to pick up a date is get them to look at you. If you already look good, they’ll already be interested in talking to you.

If you can get all the other guys or girls in the room looking at you, then each individual person will want you more, because competition for a resource drives up the perceived value of that resource. If you’re a rare resource that multiple people want, they’ll each pay a higher price to beat the competition. For example, a sexy, successful musician doesn’t need to flirt. He could actually be a horrible person, but if every girl in a crowd knows that every other girl in the crowd wants him, he can just sit back and let them pump up his value like a penny stock in a boiler room until the women are scratching each other’s faces to win the man all the other girls want.

You can also use this concept to pick up serious dates. Find what you’re passionate about in life, and then host an event related to your passion. If you love reading, start a book club. If you love music, host music classes or small concerts. Start a meet up group or find some other way to put yourself in a position where people you want to date will look up to you. That will attract the kind of people you’re looking for in the first place, and those people will associate you as an alpha member of the pack. Then they’ll be the ones using pickup lines on you.

The first talk

After making eye contact, the only way a romantic encounter can move forward is for the two people to talk. Both men and women overthink this way too much. In reality, talking to the opposite sex is simple and logical. I’ll walk you through it.

When entering a flirting scenario, your first goal is to exchange names. Until they know you’re name, you don’t exist, and they can’t have sex with someone who doesn’t exist. After you’ve exchanged names you become a real human being with a life and future. You also gain power over them. Dale Carnegie once said, “The sweetest word anyone can hear in any language is their own name.” Flattery will get you everywhere, and it’s flattering to simply hear your own name, because it highlights your existence and makes you center of attention. When someone addresses you by your name, it means they know who you are, and that’s intimate. If you ever hope to sleep with a person, you need to establish a consistent track record of shared intimate experiences. You can begin establishing a history of intimacy with another person immediately by simply using their name in conversation a few times.

Of course, they need to know more about you than your just your name to determine if you’re worth sleeping with. Talking to them gives you the opportunity to shape their impression of you. You don’t need to convince them that you’re the most impressive human being to ever walk the earth. You just need to convince them that you’re worth spending more time with, and you don’t have to blow their mind to accomplish that. All you have to do is make them smile, and that’s very easy to do. All you have to do is compliment them. But directly complimenting their physical body can come across as creepy. Instead, try complimenting their clothes or haircut, because when you compliment something they chose, you’re not only complimenting their external appearance, you’re also complimenting their decision making skills. Plus, if you like something they like then that means you have something in common.

Excessively bragging about yourself usually backfires for several reasons. First, it makes you look like a selfish, arrogant prick. Even if you’re not trying to be arrogant, people only want to be a little impressed by you. The bigger and better your life is than theirs, the more intimidating you are and the less you have in common.

Nobody wants to hear about your life anyway. Most people would rather talk about themselves than listen to you jerk yourself off. If you have no idea what to talk to a stranger about, just ask them about themselves. If you can get them talking about themselves, they’ll probably have a great time talking to you even though they pretty much did all the work. That’s not to say you should grill them on their entire life story. Just find out what they’re interested in, and get them to talk about that. Actively listen, and try to throw in a witty comment, joke or compliment every once and a while to keep them smiling. If you can do that, they’ll probably want to talk to you again.

The first touch

Everyone has a personal space bubble around them that strangers aren’t allowed in. Eventually, you want the person you’re flirting with to let you past all their defenses so you can experience their body completely. How do you transition from being completely shut out to being granted total access? The answer is, one degree of intimacy at a time.

Suppose you meet someone you’re attracted to, and the two of you end up hanging out on a regular basis for the next couple of weeks. If the only time you ever touch them is to shake hands, then their mind will subconsciously categorize you as a person who doesn’t enter their personal space. The more normal that becomes, the harder it’ll be to earn permission past their barriers. Sooner rather than later, you’ll be stuck in the friend zone forever.

Ideally, you would find some excuse to touch your date the first time you meet, and handshakes and hugs don’t count. The more times you make physical contact with another person, the more their mind associates you with physical contact, thus the more receptive they’ll be to having more physical contact with you. Obviously, you don’t want to go around groping people, but there are plenty of innocuous ways to touch someone: hugs, pats on the back, shoulder massages, playful shoves, accidentally bumping into them, handing something to them and making sure your hands accidentally touch, feeling their clothes, etc. You can even plan to do activities together that involve physical contact like playing basketball.

Touch is also important because it has powerful and meaningful emotional effects. Babies will die in their cribs if they’re not touched. People who receive massage therapy will sometimes cry or laugh hysterically because the physical touch of the therapist triggers a somato-emotional release. Psychologists and counselors are tough to hold clients hands and hug them, because human touch can have a powerful effects on the human psyche. Human touch is powerful almost to the point of being magical. This is valuable to know in life in general. If you want to heal someone or bring them closer to you, then touch them more often.

Everyone in the dating scene is looking for someone who will hold them in their arms and make them feel safe. The sooner you establish a pattern of safe physical contact, the sooner you’ll start looking to them like the person who is going to hold them for the rest of the night or their life. The longer you go without touching them, the less you’ll look to them like the person who is going to hold them.

Take a chance.

Women can separate the boys from the men just by standing around and seeing who has the courage to talk to her. Introducing one’s self is just the first test you have to pass to get laid or married. At the end of the first conversation, you’ll need to ask for the other person’s number and schedule a date. After you’ve been involved with someone romantically for a while, eventually you’ll want to risk confessing your love to them and maybe ask them to spend the rest of their life with you.

It can be scary to ask someone to take their relationship with you to the next level, but the only thing there really is to fear, is fear itself. If you love yourself, you can survive and thrive on your own. If someone turns you down, you look at it as their loss… not that anyone has to be the bad guy. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and most of them aren’t right for you anyway. Finding love is like inventing the light bulb. You have to find 10,000 things that don’t work in order to find the one that does. So getting rejected is usually more of a win than a loss.

Asking for someone’s telephone number or hand in marriage might seem like putting your head on the chopping block, but that would only be true if the person you’re hitting on is an executioner. Most people don’t look forward to judging and hurting everyone who hits on them. We want people to hit on us, and we want them to succeed. Even when we do turn someone down, we usually don’t see them as pathetic losers who stuck their nose where it didn’t belong. We see them as that person who had the confidence to punch above their weight class.

You might strike out the first time you go up to bat, but the game isn’t over until everyone is married or dead. If someone turns you down, and you take it with dignity, make a joke out of it, and let them know they may still have a chance with you if they ever change their mind, there’s a good chance that the next time they’re deciding who to drunk dial, they might remember how confident you were in the face of defeat. Then they might decide they want someone strong like you to hold them tonight.

I’m not saying that only incomplete, immature people feel fear and shame. Fear is healthy, and the secret to overcoming fear isn’t to not feel it. The secret is to feel it and do the thing you’re scared of anyway. The more times you do that, the less fear will paralyze you. Also it’s a sign of good mental health for you to feel pain when someone you care about rejects you. That means you’re human. But you simply can’t make a categorical imperative out of letting fear prevent you from taking risks.

If you risk nothing, you gain nothing. If you do nothing, you’ll never live. You won’t lose the game of life by striking out. You’ll lose by never showing up to the game. Ironically, you don’t actually risk anything by flirting. The only way flirting will hurt you is if you beat yourself up over it. If you don’t beat yourself up then there are no risks. There are only potential gains, and you stand to gain everything you’ve ever wanted.

It can be confusing for men to figure out when a woman wants him to take their relationship to the next level. Women often talk around what they’re trying to say and drop hints leading to what they’re really trying to tell you, leaving men in the dark as to where they actually stand with her. You could try asking her straightforward, but she still might not give you a straight or honest answer. A good way a man can gauge a woman’s intentions is to ask himself, “How much attention is she paying to me, and how hard is she trying to impress me?” If she’s going out of her way for you, she’s telling you something. If she’s not, then she’s not that into you.

Women also misunderstand how men communicate. Men don’t communicate with each other by talking around what they’re saying and dropping hints. They communicate by speaking directly and saying what they mean. If you want to tell a man something, it helps to speak his language. If your man isn’t getting the hint, don’t rack your brain trying to figure out a better way to drop hints. The problem isn’t that you’re bad at dropping hints. The problem is that you’re playing cryptic mind games instead of speaking directly to him in his native language.

If you see a sexy guy anywhere, you can just walk up to him and say, “Hey, you seem interesting. Feel like talking?” He’ll probably thank his lucky stars he found a girl he doesn’t have to play mind games with, and he would probably love to talk to you. However, it would creep a lot of men out if a woman approached him and said, “You’re hot. Let’s have sex.” Granted, there are a lot of men who would agree to have sex without even thinking about it, but they may view that woman as desperate, which means they can do better.

Women, after the first date, and for the rest of your life, you don’t need to play games with men to get them to like you. All you have to do is communicate openly with them. If/when you do talk around what you’re really trying to say, drop hints and play mind games, your man probably won’t understand what you’re trying to tell him, and it will frustrate him. Also, understand that when your man communicates with you, he’s probably going to speak to you directly. The younger he is the more likely he is to not even know that men and women communicate differently. I’m not saying it’s every woman’s responsibility to think and act exactly like a man all the time. I’m just forewarning you what to expect from men.

Continue to look and be attractive, successful, ambitious and kind

First impressions are important, but every day is important, and the best always have style. If you only own one nice pair of clothes that you wear to parties, you’re going to slowly lose your partner’s interest. If you always dress to impress and wear nice underwear, you’ll continually rekindle your partner’s interest in you.

If you don’t have a stable job or any ambitions then you’re not a good catch. You’re a liability. You might be cute, funny, genuine and inspiring, but you can’t buy baby clothes with a great personality. I’m just saying, don’t expect someone to take care of you for the long haul if you can’t take care of them at all.

The more you can make a person smile the first time you meet them, the more they’ll want to see you a second time. The more you make a person smile the second time you see them, the more they’ll want to see you a third time. If you make them smile every day, they’ll look forward to seeing you every day, but when you stop making them smile they’ll stop wanting to be around you. You make people smile by looking attractive, having a refreshingly positive outlook on life, being funny, supportive, witty, useful and good at sex.

It’s also worth emphasizing that compliments aren’t just for first impressions. Everyone wants to have sex with someone who can make them feel beautiful and special for a night. Everyone wants to spend the rest of their life with someone who always makes them feel beautiful and special.

If you always present yourself as sexy, successful, confident, ambitious and pleasant to be around, then you won’t have to chase after love interests. All you’ll have to do is keep showing up and being a joy to be around, and love interests will chase after you. In fact, if you have to constantly chase after someone and fight and beg for them to pay attention to you, you’re probably wasting your time. If they were interested in you, they’d already be paying attention to you.

If you keep pestering someone long enough, you might be able to win them over. But before you go through all that trouble, ask yourself what it says about them that they don’t already recognize how wonderful you are? Sure, they might have some virtues that make them worth pursuing, but life is short, and there are millions of wonderful lovers out there who would go out of their way to be with you if they only knew you existed. It would probably be a better use of your time to look for those lovers instead of trying to convince someone who’s just not that into you that they’re wrong about what they want.

The more desperately you want someone, the more power you give over them, and the less likely they are to ever date you. This is petty, but we don’t do it because we’re evil. We do it because our brains are so extensively designed to operate on autopilot that very we’re easy to manipulate. You see, everyone is looking for the most valuable mate, and if we can date out of our league, so much the better for us and our children. Also, when there’s a lack of supply of a resource, the perceived value of the resource increases. For these reasons, it makes you look like more valuable mate when someone knows they can’t have you.

On the other side of the coin, when you stalk someone, you send the message that they’re out of your league. Even if you really are a great match for them, they might not recognize it after you get done telling them what a small fish you are.

This is a big part of why women have a reputation for dating jerks instead of nerds with a heart of gold. This is also why some of the more sociopathic dating guides instruct men to insult women. Sadly, it often works, because it creates the perception that the man is out of the woman’s league. In my opinion, if you’re hurting and consciously manipulating your date then you’ve failed at being a good lover and a good person. So I wouldn’t suggest insulting your date. You don’t have to establish your dominance over them anyway. Just be their equal, and don’t go out of your way to put yourself beneath them.

Have fun.

You usually have to take someone on a few dates before they let you have sex with them, and you usually have to court them even longer before they’ll let you marry them. This raises the question, how do you keep someone interested in you throughout the courtship phase, let alone the rest of your life?

All you have to do to keep someone interested in you is keep them smiling. Unfortunately, men and women both make this way harder than it has to be. If you’re stressing over how to make someone smile, you’re overthinking it. You don’t have to do much. You almost don’t have to do anything. As long as you’re do the things that make you smile, then chances are you’re going to make the people around you smile. If you’re taking care of yourself, and you’re happy with your life, then you’ll be fun to be around. If you don’t fulfill your own wants and do the things you enjoy, then you’ll sulk around like the hollow vessel you are. So, if you want people to enjoy being around you, then just have fun yourself, and your good vibes will infect everyone around you.

If your schedule is already filled with personally rewarding activities, then you won’t need to rack your brain trying to figure out where to take a date. Just bring them along with you to do the things you were going to do anyway. They’ll have fun, and it’ll help them get to know you. You’ll demonstrate how interesting and proactive you are, and if they don’t enjoy your favorite activities, then you’ll know not to invest any more time pursuing a deeper relationship with them. That date didn’t fail. It succeeded in informing you to move on.

Remember that the person you’re flirting with is also an independent person who has their own interests. The quickest, easiest way to make people happy is to give them what they want. So if you want to take someone on a date that they’ll be sure to enjoy, just find out what their interests are, and then cater to those interests. If they love the symphony, then buy two tickets to the symphony. If they like hiking, then plan a hiking trip. If they like dogs, then do something with dogs. You don’t need to sit around racking your brain trying to figure out what to do to make someone happy. Just ask them what they like to do, and then go do those things with them.

Be yourself.

The meaning of life is not to be someone else’s slave. If you change everything about yourself to please someone else, that makes you a hollow, empty person. If you succeed at impressing your date that way, you’ll fail at the larger goal of becoming yourself. If you never become yourself, then you’ll never fulfill any of your own goals with which to draw purpose, happiness and confidence from. Then there will be nothing within you for your partner to connect to, let alone admire in you. Sure, you’ll be a great slave, but you’ll be boring and emotionally unsatisfying. Plus, as pleased as your partner may be by your obedience, they’ll come to see you as unworthy of their love since you made it so clear how out of your league they are.

Men who dress like Don Draper and women who dress like Jessica Rabbit will get dates, but that doesn’t mean you should. It’s mentally unhealthy to change everything about yourself to please another person, and the goal of dating isn’t to impress every person you talk to anyway. The goal is to find the right person for you. If you succeed at bringing the wrong person home, then you’ve failed at dating. If your date won’t accept you for who you are, then they’re not the person you’re looking for anyway. Be yourself, and be relieved by the fact that your unique style is going to drive away at least a third of the dating pool, because the more people who run away from you, the easier it is to pick out your soul mate from the people who are left.

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Tips on Impressing Men

All men are different, and every individual man changes over time, which means it’s impossible to make universal generalizations about men. However, if you want to impress them, you need to have some kind of understanding of how they think and behave. This guide is a starting point, and it makes a lot of generalizations. Take them with a grain of salt, and pay attention to the man you’re trying to impress to figure out his specific wants.

Reading this guide, you may find yourself thinking, “Hey, a lot of these points talk about how hard it is to be a man. Well, it’s just as hard, if not harder to be a woman. So shouldn’t men be following the same advice in how they treat women?” The answer to that question is, yes, and women’s issues are just as important as men’s. But this is an essay about how women can impress men. So that’s what it focuses on.

Evolutionary Psychology is the Most Useful Way to Understand Dating

There are more anatomical differences between men and women than just our sex organs. Our entire bodies are filled with subtle differences, which optimize our gender-specific role in reproduction. Just as our bodies are wired a little different, so are our brains. Everyone’s brain is hardwired with instincts that subconsciously manipulate our decision making process into doing things that will improve our chances of passing our genes on through an ideal mate. We’re not complete automatons, but we’re not completely free or unique either.

We’re all looking for the ideal mate, and even if we don’t have any idea what he or she looks like, the instinctual autopilot ghosts inside our heads do. They’re looking for a mate who can help us and our offspring climb Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

Men and women have slightly different strengths, weaknesses, thought processes, and social expectations. So the way they climb the hierarchy of needs is a little different. Females have the greatest chance of passing on their genes if they mate with a healthy, successful male who will stay with her for the long haul.

Men, on the other hand, have been told their entire life by society that it’s their responsibility to make enough money to support an entire family and be a strong leader. They might not live all the way up to those expectations, but they typically aren’t looking for a woman to protect and provide for them. What men are looking for is a woman who will be their mother, lover and copilot through their lifelong quest to find themselves and provide for their family.

Think of the five stages of the Hierarchy of Needs as five fronts in man’s battle against the world. The more a woman can assist him in each of those battles, the more valuable and thus attractive of a life partner she’ll be… and the more he’ll want to fight for her.

The First Front: Survival Psychology

Life is a battle for survival. You can lose every other battle in life and keep going, but not the battle for survival. When you show a man that you can give birth to healthy babies and help him and his offspring survive and thrive, you give him a reason to want you in his life. He might not think in those terms, but the instinctual evolutionary ghosts inside his head do. He might even have inflexible reasons for staying single and childless, but if you send the right signals to the ghosts in his head, they’ll put rose colored glasses over his eyes. He might not change his entire life for you, but a part of him will be attracted to you.

Be attractive (in all 5 senses).

Evolution wants us to copulate with the healthiest mate in order to produce the healthiest offspring. So subconsciously we associate indicators of good health with attractiveness. Women are programmed to like big, strong, healthy men who are well groomed, smell nice and dress for success. Men are programmed to be attracted to women with toned skin, vibrant hair, a breast-hip-waist ratio of about 86-61-86 cm, who smell nice and have a soothing voice. Granted, that’s just the middle of the Bell Curve. There are men with fetishes for every conceivable body type, but statistically speaking, women have the highest chance of impressing the most amount of men by being healthy and fit.

You could argue that men should blindly accept women for who they are regardless of their body type, and there’s truth to that statement. There’s also truth to the statement that everyone should be striving to be healthy for their own sake anyway. It’s also true that an unhealthy lifestyle leads to health problems, and your problems become your family’s problems. If you choose to burden your family with unnecessary problems then you’re a liability to them. Men might not fully realize or care about that, but Mother Nature does, and she generally tries to steer men towards healthier members of the dating pool. That’s not petty. It’s practical. Even if it’s unfair, that’s life.

Be willing and eager to pleasure him sexually.

It’s the least profound thing in the world to say that men want to have sex. 99% of the male population masturbates because 99% of the male population is effectively addicted to sex. 99% of the male population is searching for a woman who wants to have sex with him. So, after looking sexy, the quickest, most effective way a woman can make a man more attracted to her is to have quality sex with him.

This doesn’t mean that men will automatically commit to and love a woman after she’s had sex with him. Nor does it mean that women should rush into having sex or let every guy they sleep with give them “ass to mouth.” Sex is a major life decision for a woman, and the decision belongs to her completely. She doesn’t owe her body to any man for any reason.

I’m just pointing out that sex is as important to men as success is to women, and if you give someone what they want then they’ll want to be around you more often. Men want sexual pleasure. So the more sexual pleasure you give them, the happier they’ll be, the more they’ll want to be around you and reciprocate the happiness you’ve given them.

The only way for couples to understand exactly what their partner’s sexual expectations are, is for them to communicate directly and openly. The more conversations couples have about their sexual expectations the more successfully they’ll be able to meet them on mutually agreeable terms.

If you have no idea how to please a man sexually, here are a few blogs that may help improve your sexual technique. Several of these blogs are directed towards men, but they’re useful to women too:

Help him succeed, and don’t hold him back.

Every man is on a mission to prove his worth to himself, his family, his boss and the world. The stakes are his survival, dreams and self-worth. The last thing in the world a man needs is a woman who constantly finds fault in him, tears him down, punishes him, spends his money and doesn’t contribute. Marrying a woman like that is probably the most irresponsible thing a man can do. He’d have a better chance of recovering financially and emotionally from a heroin addiction.

Life is hard for men. They work their butts off and stress over taking care of their family. It’s a profound relief for a man to find a woman who not only acknowledges and respects the weight he’s under, but does whatever is in her power to help him succeed. The easier she makes his life, the more valuable of a mate she becomes. Women should be proactively plotting how to build up their man and help him succeed anyway, because when he succeeds, the family succeeds. A woman who tears down her man and won’t lift a finger for him is just shooting her lover in the back and herself in the foot.

The Second Front: Safety Psychology

Life isn’t lived when you’re constantly fighting for survival. A man is as grateful for woman who can foster a sense of safety and harmony in his life as a soldier is grateful for a bunker.

Be faithful.

There’s no point in a man fighting for a woman who is just going to leave him. When a woman does cheat on a man, it means everything he fought for was in vain. Not only did he lose, he lost because he was betrayed by the very person he was fighting for. Getting cheated on is one of the most humiliating, emasculating tragedies that could happen to a man. If you want another man, then leave the one you have first, because cheating is as cruel as kicking puppies.

Life is war, and war is a lonely, terrifying place when you can’t trust the soldier next to you. If you can though, your worries will be halved, and the two of you will experience an interpersonal bond that transcends all others.

Be there when he needs you.

Pampering a man too much makes a baby out of him and a slave out of you. However, men’s minds and bodies take a lot of hits and go through a lot of wear and tear. So they need regular preventative and corrective maintenance. Most of the time all he needs is a pat on the back, a kiss on the forehead, a hug and a compliment about his penis. As little positive feedback as men often get from life, a massage, blowjob or home cooked meal can feel like Christmas to a man. So it should come as no surprise that a man will climb a mountain to be with a woman who is there for him when he needs her.

Don’t be a gold digger.

Men work hard to provide for their family, and life is as expensive as it can be. Everything we buy costs as much as possible, and the more vital the product or service, the more overpriced it is. You have to go into a lifetime of debt just to get a college degree that opens entry level career doors, and most jobs pay as little as possible and offer as few benefits as possible. Mortgages are so overpriced that you have to go into another 30 years of debt to buy a house, and even if you can beat the system and save enough for retirement, all of your savings will be wiped out by astronomical health care bills in old age. Our entire economy is designed to make the rich richer by making the poor poorer.  This is the entire reason why so many people have to work as hard and as fast as they can for 40+ hours per week at jobs they hate making barely enough to survive- because workers are fighting a battle that they’ve been set up to fail.

The last thing a man needs in his life is a gold digger wasting the money he paid for in blood, setting him and his family back, making him work longer and harder just to keep up. Men are often happy to give away all their money to the woman they’re infatuated or in love with, but in the end, all the added stress that comes with supporting a wasteful spender will make a man frustrated, anxious and depressed. This will make him unpleasant to live with, and the relationship will probably end in flames.

Considering what a burden it is for a man to support a gold digger, imagine what a relief it is to a man to find out that his date isn’t a gold digger. Now, imagine how grateful he would be to find out that his date, not only isn’t a gold digger, but will actually spend money on him. Men never expect women to spend money on them. They expect to be expected to be women’s slaves. So when a woman spends money on a man, it’s like setting him free… unless he’s an ultra conservative, old fashioned good ole’ boy. Then he’d probably be offended that you broke his colloquial social customs.

The Third Front: Social Psychology

Impress his family and friends.

Everyone takes their relationships seriously. Women talk to their friends and family about the men in their life all the time, and the opinions of their inner circle holds a lot of sway. Men do the same thing. So if you want a guy to like you, it will only help if his friends and family like you. Pissing off his family and friends is just setting yourself up for failure.

Don’t lower a man’s rank in the social hierarchy.

Women are generally more turned on by men in authority than men are by women in authority, and women are more excited by the prospect of dating a popular/famous person than men are. Whether or not a woman raises a man’s social standing is usually a non-issue to him. Men are more concerned with what a woman can do for him behind closed doors. Having said that, there’s a limit to how big of a hit a man will take in his reputation for a woman. Basically, as long as you’re not an offensive, repulsive, stinky mutant you should be okay. So if you want to obsess over how you can go above and beyond to make a man attracted to you, don’t focus on how you can improve his reputation. Focus more on how you can make him smile and lower his stress level.

Don’t cause his peers to lose respect for him.

Most adult males aren’t too concerned with popularity, but they are concerned with being respected by the people they regularly interact with. Losing the respect of their peers would devastate their sense of self-worth.

There’s not much a woman can do to help a man gain the respect of his peers other than helping him succeed in life in general. Even if you could somehow talk a man’s friends into respecting him more, that’s not a woman’s job, and it’s not necessary anyway. All you have to do is not embarrass and emasculate him in front of people he respects. You’d think that would go without saying, but soon-to-be-single women do it every day.

The Fourth Front: Self-Esteem

Make him feel good and smile.

This is a simple yet powerful truth: Everyone wants to feel good. So we naturally gravitate towards people who make us smile, and we recoil from people who make us frown. The more you can make a man smile, the more reasons you give him to keep coming back to you. The less you make him smile, and the more you make him frown, the more reasons you give him to stay away from you.

Boost his confidence.

A man who believes in himself will find a way to overcome any obstacle. A man who doesn’t believe in himself will find a way to screw up every opportunity. Confidence is one of the biggest prerequisites to success. So it should come as no surprise that women find confidence in a man so sexy.

What does come as a surprise is how many women will criticize, insult, and guilt-trip men for failing to live up to their expectations. When a woman lowers a man’s confidence, she reprograms his brain to fail more. When a woman compliments her man out of the blue, praises his success, and reassures him when he fails, she reprograms his brain to succeed more.

Not only is she designing a stronger man to take care of her and her offspring, she’s making him happier. A confident mind is a safe, enjoyable place to live. A self-loathing mind is a horrible place to live. If you give a man a reason to feel better about himself, you give him a reason to come back to you. If you give a man a reason to doubt himself, you give him a reason to recoil from you.

Show him you value and appreciate him.

It doesn’t cost anything to say, “You’re special. I care about you. I love you. I appreciate you. You mean the world to me.” When a man hears those words, it validates all the work he’s ever done in his entire life to get where he is today, and it validates all the work he’s put into impressing and catching the woman he’s with. It’s basically telling him, “You win.” Yes, men want to hear that, and they have little motivation to leave a woman who makes him feel like a winner.

You can tell your man you care about him by saying it with a blow job, a thoughtful gift, a look, or a kiss. How you express your love is limited only by your imagination, but if you never actually verbally articulate to a man in no uncertain terms that you care about him, he’ll eventually start feeling like a loser. He’ll feel empty and hurt inside and start thinking about leaving you for someone he can win with… which would be tragically ironic if you actually did care about him.

The Fifth Front: Self-Actualization

When all of life’s trials have been conquered, the only thing left to do is achieve self-actualization. This is the cherry on top of the love cake. If you can pass the fifth trial then you can connect with your lover on the deepest emotional, mental and spiritual levels.

Understand him.

In order to make a man happy, you have to fulfill his wants. You won’t know what he wants until you understand him. Learn everything you can about him until you know him so well you can predict his wants. But as you’re studying him, understand that you’re not just doing it so that you can be a better servant to him. Most men don’t want to spend the rest of their life with a servant. They want to spend the rest of their life with a woman who gets them.

Support his interests.

Most men are looking for a woman to devote their life to, but that doesn’t mean the only thing they want to do with the rest of their life is follow you around like a whipped slave, catering to your every need and obeying your every command. A man is his own person. He has his own goals and interests, and he takes great personal satisfaction out of pursuing his own path.

When a woman shows interest in a man’s hobbies, she shows interest in the man. When she supports the hobby, she supports the man. When she ignores his interests, she ignores him. When she tell him his interests are stupid and a waste of time, she tells him that he’s stupid and a waste of time. Thus, she tells him that it would be a stupid, waste of time to stay with her.

Don’t emasculate him.

Men should respect and support women’s femininity. Men should be patient with women’s differences, and compromise their own behavior to accommodate women’s foreign ways. At the very least, men should not urinate on the toilet seat, argue with women, get impatient when women cry, hang posters of Playboy bunnies in the living room, or expect women to love The Expendables as much as they do.

Every woman in the world can agree that it would be a criminal injustice for a man to force a woman to live exactly like a man. Yet it’s not uncommon for women to try to cut off men’s balls and force them to sit down to pee, hold their purse, hold in their farts, dress metro sexual, drive a pastel colored car, watch Lifetime movie marathons and never do or say anything remotely masculine. A lot of women see this as finding the perfect man and fixing him, like housebreaking a wild animal. In reality, it’s breaking a man down and killing him inside. It’s caging and torturing a noble stallion.

If you cage a man and try to turn him into something he’s not, he’ll look at the moon every night and dream of running away… as well he should. If you celebrate a man for what he is, and nurture his nature, he’ll look at your face every night and thank his lucky stars he found someone so accepting and supportive.

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