I recently let readers vote on which blogs I’ll write next. Below are the results of the survey, and below that are the outlines for those blogs. I’ll be posting them as I get around to them, which will probably be one or two per week. I may also post a few comics that are not on the list.
Even if you don’t get to read all of these essays, it’s still interesting to see which topics are most important to the readers who voted. Personally, I was surprised to see “We never should have made polygamy illegal” in the top 10. I was also surprised to see “Tips on foreplay” and “Ways not to define your self-worth” so low on the list. I was unsurprised see “The confidence talk” at the top of the list and “Why drinking water is important” at the bottom.
1, The confidence talk
2. How pop culture warps our perception of reality
3. Why you won’t achieve the American Dream
4. Characteristics to look for in a lifelong partner
5. A brief history of the Israel V.S. Palestine Conflict
6. How standardized testing is killing America’s future
7. How suburbia is killing the planet and our souls
8. Things in the Bible that Christians don’t believe
9. How the Baby Boomers created the kids they hate
10. We never should have made polygamy illegal
11. A brief history of economics
12. Reasons to live for something bigger than yourself
13. Tips on making conversation
14. Ways not to define your self-worth
15. Why Disney is evil
16. Think before you make excuses
17. The art of being
18. Financial inequality is the greatest threat to America’s national security
19. Why drinking water is important
20. Get upset about the right things
21. Internet pro tips
22. Examples of institutionalized insanity in American culture
23. The art of submissiveness
24. Tips on foreplay
25. We need to upgrade our office culture
26. We should redo the public holiday calendar
1. The Confidence Talk
Confidence is less about strength of will and more about understanding yourself.
We’re all inherently, equally, infinitely valuable because we’re cosmic miracles.
We’re all lost and faking it. Most people’s confidence is shortsighted.
The meaning of life isn’t to be popular. It’s to be you. If people don’t like you, good. You don’t have to please everyone. You can’t and shouldn’t please everyone.
You’re capable of almost anything you set your mind to.
You’ve been indoctrinated to feel inferior and set up to fail by your political/economic systems.
You’re a product of your environment, but you’re not bound by your environment’s definition of you.
We’re all going to die. Our fears are fleeting.
You’re still alive, and that’s something to be proud of.
Know yourself. Define your wants. Define your values.
Think positive thoughts. Diffuse negative thoughts.
You can be scared and confident at the same time.
Fake it till you make it.
2. How Pop Culture Warps Our Perception Of Reality
It censors out what really matters and shows you a substanceless fantasy world that you will come to think imitates life. It doesn’t imitate life. It distracts from it.
It occupies your mind. When all you know is sitcoms, you don’t know how to live with purpose.
We learn behavioral values by mimicking authority figures. The authority figures in pop culture are irrational, petty, whitewashed consumer whores. Pop culture appeals to the lowest mental denominators. It normalizes and glorifies ignorant behavior.
Sexual censorship subconsciously shapes your morals. Yet, the sexual morals that are censored in pop culture aren’t negative. Suppressing them is though.
Entertainment news isn’t news. It’s mental oppression.
Commercials = brainwashing
Pop culture glorifies the rich and gives false hope/confidence to the poor. Pop culture normalizes and glorifies an oppressive financial caste system.
Time spent on the couch is time not spent changing the world.
3. Why You Won’t Achieve The American Dream
The American dream is to have a good job, full pension, retirement savings, good health, own your own house, have a loving spouse and loving, successful children. Not gonna happen.
Your parents are poor, which will immediately lower your health and intelligence before you learn to walk.
Your parents will probably be divorced and will have to work all the time. You’ll grow up without the nurturing and lessons you need. Your parents will be stressed out and treat you worse than they would have if they lived secure, stress free lives with plenty of free time.
You’ll be stuck in suburbia, bored, anxious, unfulfilled and unedified. You’ll turn to television, video games, drugs and getting in trouble to amuse yourself. You’ll get dumber, unhealthier, and accustomed to bad habits.
Your future will depend on your grades at school, but you’ll be surrounded by poor, stressed out, doped up, children who were raised on the values of television. They’ll distract you from learning and indoctrinate you with television-based beliefs that are counterproductive to life.
Your teachers will teach to standardized tests that don’t fit your personality type. You won’t retain knowledge, and you won’t be able to regurgitate it the way they want it regurgitated. Your grades will suffer, and this will effect your chances of getting a job.
You probably won’t be taught finance or any important life lessons. You’ll be taught useless shit that you’re congratulate yourself for being a genius for knowing. Then you’ll walk around an arrogant moron.
You’ll probably spend a lot of time playing sports or working a minimum wage job instead of bettering yourself.
If you don’t go to college, that’s it. Your life is going to suck forever. If you do go to college, you’ll go into a lifetime of debt. You’ll also learn how to be an educated fool and an alcoholic.
You’ll spend the rest of your life job hopping, restarting at the bottom every time. You’ll work for arrogant morons who believe that profits are more important that people. You’ll be disposable. You’ll be used and taken for granted your entire life. You’ll be indoctrinated with either an inferiority or superiority complex.
You’ll spend most of your life working at a job you don’t like. That will be your life. That’s where you’ll spend the wonder years.
You’ll waste half a lifetime of paychecks on rent. If you buy a house, you’ll have to go into a lifetime of debt to pay for it. This will stress you out, and you’ll be lucky to ever pay it off. More likely, you’ll lose half a lifetime of paychecks to a mortgage that didn’t pan out.
You’ll be brainwashed by television to spend most of your money on shit you don’t need, like a real fancy vehicle. This will make you poor and limit your options. You’ll go on very few vacations. You’ll spend most of your life trapped in your well-furnished suburban, white collar prison.
You family life will be in shambles. It won’t be as good as it could be due to constant working and stress.
Your health will fail due to your toxic suburban lifestyle, and you’ll spend your golden years managing a degenerative disease that will bankrupt you.
You’ll die sick, broken, poor, stressed, bored, lonely and unfulfilled.
America is not designed to make your dreams come true. It’s designed to exploit you to death.
4. Characteristics To Look For In A Romantic Partner
They’re responsible at work.
They’re responsible at home.
They take care of their body.
They’re proactively engaged in a lifelong quest for knowledge and growth.
They’re able to take criticism and accept responsibility for their actions.
They think rationally.
They’re not self-centered, demanding or judgmental
They have the same or compatible domestic goals.
They have the same or compatible interests and passions.
They have the same or compatible spiritual and political beliefs.
You could talk to them (and not talk to them) forever.
They treat you with kindness.
They build you up.
5. A Brief History Of The Israel V.S. Palestine Conflict
According to the Bible, the Jews were promised Israel. They slaughtered the local inhabitants and stole the land. Then they slaughtered their neighbors and stole their land.
Rome captures Israel in 63 BCE.
Rome and Israel convert to Christianity.
Saladin captures Israel in 1187.
Before WWII was over, the Jews were already planning on taking Israel back, regardless of who was there.
With the backing of the U.S. and U.N., Jews invaded Palestine and slaughtered thousands.
Over the course of the next 60 years, the Palestinians were slaughtered and corralled into concentration camps. Their houses and farms were bulldozed to build suburbs for foreign Jews.
The Palestinians fought back but were outgunned and outvoiced in the media.
The rest of the Muslim world views the Jews as genocidal, and they resent America for its involvement. They see it as an attack on Islam.
Palestinian terrorism will end when their genocide is complete. Then the whole world will collectively say, “Oops.” And the Palestinian people will be nothing more than a Wikipedia entry under atrocities we should all be ashamed of.
6. How Standardized Testing Is Killing America’s Future
Standardized testing requires standardized teaching. Most humans are not designed to be bureaucratic boxed in office rats. So they don’t retain or regurgitate information easily, which sets them up to be a failure in life even though they’re not.
Bureaucratic boxed in office rats rise to the top while good people suffer and come to base their self-worth on underserved rank.
The economy doesn’t get the right people in the right jobs. It gets the wrong people in the wrong jobs, and that holds back humanity’s progress.
Schools waste precious time focusing on teaching testing skills, reviewing for tests, testing and going over tests. Schools fail to teach students, which creates a society of idiots with degrees who make bad neighbors.
Standardized testing is expensive to administer, and parents pay for it. They require tons of meetings, which parents pay for. When schools fail, testing companies come in and restructure and train the school, which accomplishes less than nothing, bankrupts the school and is paid for by the parents.
The only winners in standardized testing are standardized testing companies, which are the exact people who lobbied your corrupt elected official to sell out your children’s future to cannibalistic testing companies. Standardized testing is shooting children in the head so a cannibal can buy a bigger house. When you shoot American children in the head, you shoot America’s future in the head.
7. How Suburbia Is Killing The Planet And Our Souls
Creating and maintaining suburbia is killing the planet.
Pave all the things
Urban sprawl and loss of independent sustainability
Living in Suburbia is killing the human race
Isolation- Psychological, boredom, loss of independence, commuting, leads to television, which leads to ignorance and delusion
Dangerous because of desperation
8. Things in the Bible Christians Don’t Believe
God is a genocidal, murdering psychopath.
Children are property and should be beaten.
Women are property and should be silent and sold into slavery.
Adulterers should be stoned to death.
Slavery is ordained and facilitated by God.
All the other silly rules in the Old Testament.
The creation story.
The Ten Commandments.
The importance of family lineage.
That faith will protect you.
The infallibility of the Bible.
That the creator of the universe lived in a temple and demanded blood sacrifices.
9. How the Baby Boomers Created the Kids They Hate
They beat us.
They raped us.
They bought us TVs and video games and then abandoned us
They raised us on fairy tales.
They fed us processed shit.
They drugged us.
They created a sociopathic, bureaucratic hell for us to live in.
They painstakingly indoctrinated into our heads that we were entitled to freedom and prosperity
They kicked us out at 18.
They still treat us like second class citizens and get surprised when we object.
They left us to die in the streets while they retired in relative comfort.
They control the political system that we’re powerless to influence, and they’re using their power to oppress the many for the benefit of a few.
10. We Never Should Have Made Polygamy Illegal
If you believe that polygamy degrades the spiritual purity of marriage, then you’re delusional. You’re literally insane. You have no understanding of the history of marriage.
There isn’t and never has been one form of marriage that worked demonstrably better than all others. In fact, what works best is to adapt your behavior to the needs of the local environment. This has happened throughout history with positive results.
Modern, Western marriage is supposed to be based on the word of God, but it isn’t. Historically, religions viewed women as property and second class citizens. Polygamy and incest were also common and celebrated.
The modern, western concept of love evolved secularly as a response to a changing environment.
Criminalizing polygamy now is just cut and dry oppression. It accomplishes nothing but frustrating, demeaning and destroying people’s lives.
Legalizing polygamy will have no negative repercussions for anyone. It will only have positive repercussions and reflect an enlightened value of individuality, adaptability, love and freedom.
We’ll never live in utopia as long as we’re taking people’s freedoms away for subjective, fantasy-based reasons.
11. A Brief History of Economics
Hunting/gathering- sharing and bartering
Political/economic dictators- Egypt
City states- tradesmen, guilds, slavery
Land owners = ruling class – Dark ages of Europe and Russia
Imperialization and colonialization
The first wave of predatory capitalism and globalization
The rise and fall of Communism and Socialism
The rise of American imperialism and global predatory capitalism
The big win for the 1%, the future of oppression and the death of the planet.
12. Reasons To Live For Something Bigger Than Yourself
There are certain philosophers and philosophies who advocate being as selfish as possible. There are also certain environments and economies that reward the selfish and punish the selfless. While there are healthy, positive reasons to be a little selfish sometimes, it’s not always rewarding to be selfish. You’re not the center of the universe, and acting like you are will hurt you more in the long run that it will help you. It’s not weak, ignorant or wasteful to live for something bigger than yourself.
Closing yourself off from the world on your selfish, ivory tower cuts you off from humanity.
Your interpersonal connections with others are more rewarding, memorable, profound and edifying than possessions.
Sharing is friendship.
Helping is happiness.
People need your help, and people are important. Humanity needs your help, and humanity is important… more important than you.
Nobody else can do what you do?
The world will get worse for you if you don’t help.
You owe a war debt, and you could possibly be grateful to the power that created you.
There may be a god who will judge you.
Your present will be your past for all eternity.
13. Tips On Making Conversation
Talking isn’t a competition. It’s an opportunity.
People would rather talk about their own interests than listen to your life story.
Nobody wants to hear you brag. Don’t one-up people’s stories.
Nobody wants to hear about your problems. In fact, don’t bitch about anything.
Flattery will get you everywhere.
Your name is the sweetest sound you can hear in any language.
Don’t auto-contradict or play the devil’s advocate. You’re not clever, and you’re not teaching anyone anything. You’re just being an annoying wanker.
You can disagree respectfully and earn respect.
Keep your comments relevant.
You don’t have to lie to kick it.
Cops, blood, sex and drugs
Your name is the sweetest sound in any language.
Always have a few jokes up your sleeve.
14. Ways Not To Define Your Self-Worth
By how much smarter/dumber you are than everyone else
By the size of your bank account
By how much power you have over other people
By how much power other people have over you
By your beauty or lack thereof
By your rank or lack thereof
By your age or lack thereof
By your success/failure rate
By how much you’re mistreated
By what your parents think of you
By what ancient mythology says you’re worth
By what you think of you
15. Why Disney Is Evil
Values money more than people. Exploits parents by exploiting children.
Mouschawitz- long hours, low pay, soda machine rumor,
Cruise lines overwork employees and may cover up negligent deaths.
Warps public perception of gender and social roles.
WW II propaganda- familiarity with propaganda and collusion with the government to manipulate public consciousness.
The entitled princess syndrome
Celebrates violence while condemning sex while simultaneously, subconsciously promoting sex
Trains children to be consumer whores.
Trains children to accept and glorify rulers/authority while also celebrating and normalizing poverty
Disney Television is a trainwreck of values
Oversimplifying life’s problems and outright ignoring the biggest issues
Perpetual oblivious optimism
16. Think Before You Make Excuses
Excuses sound good on paper, but they usually only get you out of trouble in your own head. Your excuse can sound perfectly logical and just, yet you can still be wrong. The quicker, more intense and more often you make excuses, the more likely you are to be wrong.
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who always have excuses and those who don’t need to make excuses.
Excuses may get you out of trouble, but they enable your irresponsibility, and they prevent you from improving yourself.
You should have pointed out and found solutions to your own problems before someone else did.
You’ll destroy the relationships that your quality of life depends on.
Excuses get old quickly. Accountability is respectable.
People will like you more if you just fix your flaws and stop making excuses. You’re definitely not impressing God.
You shouldn’t want people to have to suffer for your mistakes or have to listen to your excuses.
Excuses are a waste of everyone’s time. They’re a sign of weakness, not righteousness.
17. The Art of Being
Birth spits you out running and lost. Nobody is prepared for it. It takes everyone by surprise when they’re off balance. Life throws everything at us every day.
Sometimes life hands you peace. Usually it doesn’t. In order to have control over your life you have to take control. In order to take control of your life you have to take control of your mind.
You’re a wobbling plate that needs to be balanced before you can spin it manually.
Begin balancing/focusing in the morning, ideally. Top up when you need to. Take a break when shit gets crazy.
Relax and breathe deeply.
Clear your thoughts.
Focus on the present. Be here now.
Use mantras and positive affirmations to direct your mind.
Articulate your goals/principles. Use lists to keep you focused.
Question your answers. Never stop searching for truth and growth.
18. Financial Inequality Is The Greatest Threat to America’s National Security
Chances of dying in a terrorist attack=
Chances of dying in combat=
Percent of population living under the poverty line=
Cost of a college education=
Average job pays=
Percent of the population who can afford a college education=
How long it takes to pay off a college degree=
Average cost in utility bills=
Average amount of taxes paid by individuals=
Chances of you understanding your taxes= minimal
Average cost in government/police fines=
Average markup for the cost of a product=
Average cost of rent=
Average cost of a mortgage=
Average time it takes to pay off a mortgage=
Percentage of foreclosures=
Size of homeless population and number of foreclosed homes=
Percentage population who file for bankruptcy=
Percentage of population who file for bankruptcy because of medical bills=
Percentage of military personnel who go bankrupt because of medical costs=
Average retirement pay=
Average social security pay=
Average size of an America’s savings account=
Average CEO pay=
Worth of top 1%=
Cost to taxpayers to destroy all the Occupy Wall Street protests=
Cost of the war on terror=
How many homes, schools and hospitals could have been built with that plus the accumulated wealth of the 1%=
19. Why Drinking Water Is Important
There are 1 trillion cells in your body. 70% of a cell is cytoplasm (water), which accounts for about 70% of your body mass, and they’re all replaced about every 90 days.
Every cell is a tiny factory. They each contain a power plant that needs to be fed and cooled. So each cell has parts that bring in food, break it down, store what’s needed and remove any unneeded materials. As the cell consumes proteins and creates waste that needs to be removed. When the cell dies, it needs to be removed and replaced. Every step requires water.
Another 28% of your body mass is fluid like bile, acid, saliva, mucus, blood and lymph. They all contain water. There’s a little over a gallon of blood in your body, which weighs about 10 pounds, and it’s all replaced about every 30 days.
Digestion requires water to move food through your body. Water molecules bond to waste products and remove them. Water molecules bond to enzymes and nutrients. They allow our bodies to break down matter at the atomic level.
Without water your body can’t create or transport energy. It can’t eliminate wastes. Everything breaks down. All it takes is one night of heavy drinking to dehydrate your body so completely that it uses the water in the your dura mater, which causes your brain to bump into your skull and give you a massive headache. Long term dehydration will lower your quality of life and shorten your lifespan.
Drink 2 liters or half a gallon a day. The more your body does, the more water it needs.
20. Get Upset About the Right Things
People get very emotionally upset about unimportant issues. They exert considerable time and energy arguing about things like celebrities, sports, movies and television, cars, morning DJ issues, gossip, drama, political side issues, grammar Nazis, exception to the rules devil’s advocates, etc.
Before you argue or condemn a statement or an issue, ask yourself what the outcome of winning will be. You probably won’t convince the other person they’re wrong. You’ll probably convince them they’re right and you’re an asshole. So what else do you gain? Probably nothing but wasting everyone’s time and normalizing a non-issue while distracting from a real one.
In order to rank how important an issue or argument is, figure out where it fits in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in relation to your life as well as humanity in general while also taking into consideration all the other problems in the world. This is not an unreasonable chore. This is you becoming sane.
Survival- The most important problems in the world are the ones threatening your survival as well as humanity’s. Until those are fixed, almost everything else is a waste of time. The greatest threat is the economy.
What you can do, you have the responsibility to do, for your sake as well as humanity’s. It’s not a burden of responsibility. It’s an opportunity to improve.
21. Internet Pro Tips
If it doesn’t work, turn it off and then back on again.
If you’re still having issues, empty your temporary internet files.
Get antimalware and antivirus protection
Don’t download or open anything unless you know exactly what it is.
Research the best web browser to use.
Don’t be a dick.
The faster and more explosively you disagree with someone the more likely you’re wrong.
Don’t argue. It doesn’t matter, and nobody cares. You’ll accomplish nothing.
Don’t think you’re proving anything by nitpicking details. You’re just talking to be right about something.
Don’t rush to be offended.
Don’t lower the intellectual bar.
If you don’t have anything to say then don’t say anything.
Ctr+A, Ctr+C, Ctr+V = Win
There’s a world of information at your fingertips. Superpowers are just a few clicks away.
Donate to Wikipedia.
22. Examples Of Institutionalized Insanity In American Culture
Insanity is irrationality, American embraces a lot of that.
Fear of sex and pleasure. Censorship.Censoring Cussing
The military caste system. Turning sane men suicidal through brainwashing- Stockholm syndrome, battered person syndrome, killing without knowing why, given PTSD and no treatment
Political Spin- elections, the war on drugs, white house press briefings, Fox News, impotent liberal news,
Price gouging and sale worship
Economic caste system
Banking- mortgages, interest rates, insane fees
23. The Art Of Submissiveness
Some people don’t understand submissiveness in sex. Believe sex should be dignified, drenched in loving kindness and sweetness.
Most women don’t want to be degraded or forced to submit in public. However, most women want at least some of that some of the time in the bedroom.
Why? Some women do have deep rooted insecurities, and they believe they deserve to be punished. They want to hurt themselves by letting someone else hurt them.
Everyone has a psychological need for structure and security. Deep down we all want to be controlled by an authority figure. It gives us a euphoric release. Even concentration camp victims, boot camp victims, prison victims and domestic violence victims can feel euphoria from being held captive and abused.
Because evolution and the ironic state of safety and security it places women in.
Because it’s empowering to women. The more he does to her, the more she did to him to get him to that point.
Because it’s nice to let go and be lazy and be ravished sometimes.
Because fuck social pressure to be in control all the time.
Some girls are just freaky nasty cum sluts, and that’s okay.
How? It’s a total mind-body experience. Sex shouldn’t always be all dominant or all submissive. Set a tone, and make your dominance work within it.
Set the stage before clothes come off by telling, not asking. If you have a safe word, you won’t get in trouble for rape (hopefully). Be firm and take charge.
Undress her and make her undress you. Ask and give permission.
Make demands and administer punishment for misbehavior.
24. Tips On Foreplay
What is foreplay, and why is it important? – Emotional, Psychological, wetness and edging
Foreplay never really ends… ever.
Foreplay can begin hours before touching begins. Touching should usually last at least 10 minutes.
Set the mood by manipulating the environment.
Setting the tone through body language- love, pampering, domination, straight forward, teasing, playful, flipflopping
The importance of dialogue and what to say.
Fellatio, cunnilingus, hand jobs and fingering
Submissiveness and domination
25. We Need To Upgrade Our Office Culture
Working in a cubicle office sucks. Nobody would choose to pay to live like that. It’s not an opportunity. It’s a death sentence.
Sanitized “Full House” culture is unhealthy, degrading, dehumanizing, unfun and unnecessary. Censored speech, decorations, and clothes
Cubicle deprivation syndrome
Work shitty hours as hard, fast and long as possible.
Spend more time reporting what you’ve done than doing your job
The military dictator hierarchy, “Gun to your head” management style is stressful and dehumanizing.
You’re a disposable wage slave, and yet you’re forced/manipulated into having team spirit.
Swift and severe punishment.
As few benefits as possible.
We need a monastery based economy.
26. We Should Redo The Public Holiday Calendar
Our existing holidays are literally insane. Literally. They encourage irrational thinking, and their potential productivity is lost in mythology. They’re also haphazardly placed throughout the year. They need to be arranged better. We should also get rid of day lights savings time and remove the extra “r” from February.
We need evenly spaced, sane, to-the-point holidays.
January- New Year’s. Don’t need to change that.
February- Romance Day- Give your lover what they want day
March- Civil Rights Day- Protest Day
April- Remembrance Day- Do Something Day
May- Worker’s Day- Strike Day
June- Party Day
July- World Unity Day
August- Personal Growth Day
September- Science Day
October- Costume Day
November- Food Day
December- Family Day